When thinking about pushing a relationship forward into exclusivity, what the other person realistically has the capacity for is an important element to factor in. This question allows you two to be honest about how you’re feeling instead of keeping it bottled up and hoping for the best!”Ħ. What are you giving the most energy to right now (school, work, family, friends, this relationship)? He adds that the opportunity is in fact a "chance to reassure them or give them more context about something they’re fearful about. Instead of going on the defense, welcome that feedback as the gift that it is. It can feel like a loaded question to prompt an ask that prompts someone to convey a concern, worry, doubt, fear, or red flag and it is easy for the response to trigger a desire to go on the defense. In particular, Gunther suggests that we “enter into this question with curiosity and do your best to be compassionate. This immediately made me wonder what it looks like to have this conversation with ease–doing so in a way that creates as safe and comfortable of a space as possible rather than tension and guardedness. Though the nature of the questions doesn’t seem harmful at all, it is possible for everyone’s perception to differ. Keep reading to learn more about the 8 questions to ask before becoming exclusive and why. Okay, but what are the questions? I’m sure you’re wondering as I go on my tangent.
“People grow and change in relationships and it’s important you’re still a good match as you move forward," he explains. However, if the majority of these answers are not to your liking you may end up either delaying becoming exclusive or ending things so that you can go find someone who’s a better match.”Īdditionally, Gunther recommends revisiting these questions and the responses every six months as a relationship check-in as a means to stay on the same page. "I believe all the answers can be talked about and processed successfully before you decide to commit to a new partner. “None of these questions are deal-breakers unless you want them to be deal-breakers," Gunther tells xoNecole. Similarly to the topics that couples should discuss early on in dating to establish what might be non-negotiables, the questions that Gunther proposes to precede exclusivity in your relationships are a great indicator of whether to move the relationship forward or take a step back.
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